You ever get anxious... just generally?

I can’t put my finger on it. Just anxious about ten different specific things. All the things that I’m focusing on right now.

Wish my heart rate would go down and my chest would stop hurting.

@tinker I think it would happen more often if I didn't have so much going on in my life for my anxiety to latch onto

@tinker I never feel it as anxiousness, more like an oppressive sense that for all my efforts I can accomplish nothing and there’s no point to struggling for improvement. Sometimes.

@tinker Yup. Usually the real cause of the anxiety is the eleventh thing that I'm not focusing on. Finding that thing and giving it some attention makes the anxiety go away. It's often not even necessary to solve the problem. Acknowledging its existence is enough.

@tinker I persist in a constant state of anxiety like that. It’s no way to live.

@jerry @tinker

We all suffer from some form of hyper-vigilism.

It is also why we do what we do for a living... I believe.

@TheGibson @jerry - I’ve thought about what happens next. Maybe going down the road to CISO. I don’t think my heart could take it.

@tinker @jerry

That's a messed up position.

In many ways, a junior at the C-table, and also more responsible for advanced threats than any other at the table.

All negatives, none of the benefits.

@tinker @jerry

If you go there, try to get yourself into some sort of contract abstraction layer so the inevitable blowback is minimal.

@TheGibson @tinker @jerry CISO stands for " Career is Soon Over". The Mgmnt hate you because you seem to obstuct their (evil?) plans , and staff hate you becuse you make day to day work more complicated. Then when shit hits the fan you are thrown on the fire first. Eris knows it is not a position one for a person prone to stress.. or not..

@TheGibson @jerry @tinker Makes sense. If you know how shit the world is, can you carry on without noticing? All the loss of privacy is what gets me.

We need a private place, like the Finns have a sauna. A space where NOTHING gets in or out. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

We need to be with our thoughts more, talk to ourselves in a lengthy manner with no fear of repercussions.

Mine is my bedroom. I don't talk here, but when I am inside, I am alone.

It can be bliss.

@jerry - Yeah.... this is not something I could maintain.

@tinker I live in a constant state of "the noose is always there". Like I'll just be sitting there and then I say "Well, what would happen if I offed myself?"

Anxiety kicks in, too, when I have a lot to do at once. Lots of long-term tasks make m4iler a sad boy. I feel like chipping away at a rock and every minute I spend on one thing could be spent on the others, so I either hop back and forth or just procrastinate.

If I kill myself, it was the Clintons, believe you me.

@tinker that's an anxiety attack. Breathe slow, do something that you find soothing

@tinker Cut back on coffee if you drink any. Also take up meditation. I like headspace personally - something about a British voice that I find soothing. Also try to shift focus away from whatever is causing you a sense of anxiety. Even if you do this before the anxiety attack kicks in, it can help avoid future outbreaks.

@tinker yes... anxiety & hypervigilance. not a great combo. awareness of what makes it worse and mindfulness in the moment help to get it a bit better under control.

@tinker yeah, usually that's when I take a long hard break and think deeply about what I should change in my life.

I always end up giving up a few things I love and a few I dislike and pursue more fully the things that bring me the most joy.

I've also been learning to purposefully waste time. It's about doing something simple without tech or music and doing it either alone or with my wife. It helps a lot. we took up whittling!

@entreprelife - Think you’re right. I need to make a conscious decision to drop some things and focus on only a few.

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